(Note: This sermon followed the video clip with the same name: https://www.ignitermedia.com/products/8665-a-million-little-choices)

This morning we are talking about how even our little choices impact our wisdom, and how to become wiser through the practices I am calling the “3 P’s of Wisdom,” in order to make it easier to remember. The 3 P’s are Pausing, Praying and Paying Attention.

So first, what do we mean by wisdom?

For starters, it’s worth noting that wisdom is not the same as knowledge –

(image credit: shockinglydelicious.com)

To quote Miles Kington: “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.” (pause, hopefully for chuckles) (Side note: What I learned this week is that tomatoes in a fruit salad is a real thing people do!)

So, wisdom isn’t knowledge. Wisdom is having the ability to have insight about relationships and choices. It is a natural ability to understand things that most people cannot, and is a knowledge gained by having many experiences in life.

The opposite of wisdom is foolishness, silliness, stupidity. Nobody wants that!

Having wisdom makes your life easier…Where in your life is the lack of wisdom getting in the way?

I don’t know about you, but if I’m honest, one of the areas of life I struggle most with being wise is in how I spend my money – although some might argue that my biggest struggle is how much time I spend time on my phone. 🙂

Don’t get me wrong, I want to be wise in how I spend my money. I want to give generously to the church and to good causes worth supporting. I want to set aside enough money to send our kids to college (all FOUR of them!) and I want to save wisely so someday, probably quite a ways away, I want to retire. I want to be a good role model to those little people who are watching.

But if I’m honest, there is a lot of pressure to use money in ways that probably aren’t the wisest.

I spend money on clothes and shoes that are cute but I don’t really need, I buy things from Amazon, I feel the pressure to upgrade my phone and get the latest and greatest gadgets. I may or may not have a problem with buying too many Sharpies and art supplies.

In fact, really large corporations are banking on my inability to make wise choices. It doesn’t help that credit card companies are more than happy to extend credit to me to make purchasing more things easier. Actually, I just read a stat recently that, as of 2017, the average American household’s consumer credit card debt was over $15000, so I’m apparently not alone on this.

My husband jokes that our problem is we have too many resources and not enough good things we are doing. Consumerism solves that problem for us. Bang! Problem with having too many resources is solved!

And it’s not just finances, there are choices to make all the time on how to spend my time, (yes that includes how much I’m on my phone), what to eat or drink, how to treat others, what to pay attention to… What about you? What are the areas you struggle with when it comes to making choices? (pause) While the areas we are working through probably vary widely, deep down we all want to walk in wisdom.

It’s like our faith says one thing, but all the other messages we are seeing say something different. A lot of the choices are probably no big deal, but there are still so many choices. The thing is, nobody sets out to get his or her self in a bad or unwise place, whether it’s about our finances, relationships, addictions, health, or whatever – it’s almost like we wake up surprised one day wondering how we got here.

Consider this:

In Science class, there is a concept called “tipping point” and an experiment where you make a boat out of aluminum and try to see how many pennies you can put in the boat before it sinks. How it usually works is you put the pennies in one by one, and eventually a penny drops in and the boat sinks quickly to the bottom. (Side note: We tried this during youth group recently & one of the groups figured out a way to make a nearly unsinkable boat…so maybe we have some wise students in our midst!) In the same way, we make choices that, individually, are insignificant. But, like the opening video illustrates as well, the accumulation of several choices brings us to a place we never expected to be.

Isn’t it great to know that even though we all face this issue, God’s word has something to say about it?

Remember at the opening of worship when I asked you to think of the wisest people you know?

For me, my friend Bill came to mind, but I also thought of all the times I would visit with John Cash on Sunday mornings before he moved to Florida – there was a lot of wisdom to learn from his 9 decades of life experience!

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” James 3:13

The book of James reminds us that people who are focused on gaining God’s wisdom are known as being pure, peace-loving, considerate, full of mercy, impartial & sincere. Think again about the wisest person you know – how do they measure up? (pause)

So, as we move forward from here, how do we become wise?

To become wise, you need to follow what I’m calling the 3 P’s on this path to wisdom. I’m calling them “Pause, Pray & Pay Attention,” but those who are Gen- Xer’s in the room might appreciate that Vanilla Ice’s word to “Stop, Collaborate, and Listen” also would work. 🙂

The first “P” is to PAUSE. (STOP)

In order to grow in wisdom and learn from experience, it is essential that we PAUSE for time to meditate/reflect/know yourself. We live in a culture that is constantly busy. We rush from one thought, one activity, one bit of information to the next.

The problem is, if we are so busy moving around all the time, we will absolutely miss out on opportunities to learn, miss out on opportunities to hear what God might be saying.

I love this movie quote from the classic Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” This is so true. (image credit: quotesgram.com)

Life is full of choices. Every day we can make a million choices without thinking, so the first “P” is that we need to PAUSE and consider the impact of our actions before we move forward.

What does “Pause” look like? I’m a big believer in the practice of taking a “Holy Pause” between activities – just a moment to catch your breath. (pause) You can even taking a weekly “Pause” in the form or Sabbath rest which will give you the space to move forward with wisdom.

A huge benefit of this is if we pause to reflect on our own lives, our own shortcomings, we grow more patience with others.

The second “P” is PRAYER. (COLLABORATE)

James 1:5 says we need to ask for wisdom – that anyone who needs wisdom should ask God, whose very nature is to give to everyone without a second thought, without keeping score. Wisdom will certainly be given to those who ask.

In Scripture there are several examples of people who struggle with wisdom. King Solomon, the son of David, is the best-known Biblical character for wisdom. In the Old Testament book of 2 Chronicles, Solomon had just become king when God appears and tells Solomon “Ask whatever you wish, and I will give it to you.”

Solomon thought about all of the things he could request & wisely said, “Give me wisdom and knowledge so I can lead this people, because no one can govern this great people of yours without your help.”

In response, God, delighted that Solomon didn’t ask for things like wealth or power, gives Solomon not only wisdom but also wealth, riches and fame beyond any kings before or since.

We begin the search for wisdom by pausing and praying, but we can also gain wisdom in two ways: personal experience and learning wisdom from others’ experiences – as long as we follow the final “P”

The final “P” is Paying Attention. (LISTEN)

You gain wisdom either through your personal experience or – the great shortcut to wisdom – through listening to the wisdom of others.

Think of it this way: I believe people can be divided into two main categories: Stove touchers and non-stove touchers. Which are you?

Here’s how it works: there are people you can tell “hey, don’t touch the stove, it’s hot and will burn you.” They will touch the stove anyway, get burnt & learn that stoves are hot.

Non-stove touchers will hear the good advice, follow it & still learn that stoves are hot.

Whether it’s to gain wisdom through personal experience or through the experience of others, you have to follow the final “P” and Pay Attention to the available wisdom.

We can learn from Scripture quite a lot of wisdom from others – some things never change. We can learn to follow instructions and put the words into action.

Having a lot of different experiences helps you gain wisdom – but only if you let it.

It’s not enough to just have experience, you have to PAY ATTENTION to life as it happens around you.

Like in the video, we are often distracted by the screens and other things vying for our attention. We miss life as it happens when we are so busy trying to get a video or an Instagram image of it!

To grow in wisdom, you have to be able to see what is right in front of you

And also see the deeper meaning of life

My friends, in conclusion, here is the hope in this message:

We constantly receive messages from our culture about what we should do and how we should spend our time and resources in order to measure up to the world’s standards of success or happiness.

As people of faith, we have a unique opportunity and challenge to live lives that are markedly different than the world’s standards. As we seek God’s wisdom instead, we seek to live lives of grace, mercy and love. You have the opportunity to live lives that exemplify God’s love and especially God’s love for all people.

No matter where you find yourself, you can move toward wisdom. By following the 3 P’s of Pausing, Praying and Paying Attention, we can make a million little choices that move us toward wisdom.

It is my prayer that you will walk thoughtfully through your millions of small decisions, perhaps even learning wisdom from others often (as opposed to touching the stove yourself!) and live a life that brings peace and hope to others.

As we close, I want to offer an opportunity for you each to practice the 3 P’s of wisdom. In a minute I will pray and the band will come forward to play a song. During their song I invite you to spend time perhaps with your worship guide and a pencil, and take a moment to PAUSE and reflect on your life, PRAY for God’s wisdom in decisions you need to make, and PAY ATTENTION to what God might be saying to you. You can write down a prayer, or ideas on what you might want to work on, or spend the time in prayer as we reflect on God’s word for you.

Let us pray:

Spirit of wisdom,

This morning we confess that all too often we make choices that pull us away from you, distract us from the path you have for us. Forgive us for the choices we make. We ask for your true wisdom to be a guide in our lives. Thank you for being a God who never leaves us nor forsakes us.

In the name of Jesus Christ we pray, Amen.

Faith That Works: Contagious – A sermon on James 3:1-12

October 9, 2018October 9, 2018Leave a comment

Contagious sermon slides

Consider ships: They are so large that strong winds are needed to drive them. But pilots direct their ships wherever they want with a little rudder. In the same way, even though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts wildly. Think about this: A small flame can set a whole forest on fire. The tongue is a small flame of fire, a world of evil at work in

us. It contaminates our entire lives. Because of it, the circle of life is set on fire. The tongue itself is set on fire by the flames of [Gehenna.]

People can tame and already have tamed every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and fish. No one can tame the tongue, though. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we both bless the Lord and Father and curse human beings made in God’s likeness. Blessing and cursing come from the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, it just shouldn’t be this way!

-James 3:4-10

Has anyone ever said something to you that changed you?

I was a teenager on a joint Polish Catholic/United Methodist youth group retreat

when I heard a few words that completely changed my life. My friend, Bill

Kozlowski, was a couple of grades ahead of me. His mom was one of the youth

leaders at his church and every spring our two youth groups had a spring retreat

together.

I remember Bill saying to me, “Erin, one of the things you need to realize is that

you’re not better than anyone else.”

Those words alone could have hurt my feelings, but the important part was that

Bill kept speaking.

He added, “You also need to know that no one is better than you either. God made

us all, and no one is better than anybody else.”

It was a simple truth. I doubt that 16 year old Bill had any idea that the words he

said then would so positively affect the rest of my teenage years and beyond.

I mean, imagine being an insecure, self-conscious adolescent, constantly

comparing yourself to others and feeling like you were coming up short…and

then you hear, really hear, and choose to believe, that you are genuinely okay,

that you are enough, just as you are. Believing those words as a teenager was a

game changer – I didn’t have to worry about whether or not I was measuring up

or how I compared to others.

His words helped me to navigate a pretty challenging season of my life with quite

a lot more grace and confidence. His words changed me. His words may have

even been part of why I later felt called to youth ministry.

A few short years later, when Bill tragically died in a Coast Guard accident, I was

all the more grateful for the words we shared during his all-too-brief time with us.

Can you remember a person in your life that said something to you that changed

you?

You see, our words are powerful.

In fact, let’s do a little survey:

Consider your closest relationships – perhaps you are married, or think of your

best friend, your parents. Or even consider the people sitting right around you.

How many of you think that you could say/text/tweet or do something in the next

30 seconds that could dramatically improveyour relationship? Go ahead and raise

your hand. (pause)

Okay, how about this – how many of you think of something that you could say

that could really hurt/destroy/cause harm to your relationship?

Whatever you just thought of – DON’T SAY THAT!

Sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough credit for the good choices that we

make all of the time – there are plenty of times we don’t say something mean and

it keeps our relationships better.

We can know words are powerful if we consider we worship a God who spoke

the universe into being…we can look at the beginning of the Gospel of John and

see that in the beginning was the Word, the logos, and the Word was with God

and the Word was God…

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says, the words you speak come from your heart.

Our words are rarely neutral – they give insights into the heart of the person

speaking. Whatever we say isn’t just random words – what comes out of our

mouth comes from the same place as our convictions, aspirations, dreams, hopes,

doubts and emotions. Since our words are rarely neutral, what we say always has some intended result even when we don’t think about it.

Most of our life is built around words. We’re a culture that is always talking one

way or the other – if we’re not literally speaking, we’re texting, typing, updating

our status, tweeting, emailing, or writing. We even sing words. Words are a part

of everything we do, they are a part of all of our relationships.

When I reflect on my life, on conversations I’ve had, conversations people have

overheard, I’m not always proud of the words I’ve spoken.

I imagine I am not alone in realizing there have been times in my life when I’ve

said unkind things, yelled out of frustration, complained and made people feel

bad. With my words, with my tone of voice, with my impatience…there have

been so many times when I’ve hurt others. I’m not proud of that – but I also

imagine that I’m not alone in feeling regret about things I’ve said.

You may have said things you’ve regretted too. There may have been times when

you talk too much.

Today’s passage in James is focused on the incredible importance of “taming our

tongue” – the importance of taking care with our words.

I believe that our words have unprecedented power today.

Consider this: When this letter was written, the audience was the twelve tribes of

Israel who were now living as refugees in foreign lands. The letter was written at

a time when communication was only as fast as the messengers could walk, run,

or perhaps take a horse. It was like an Oregon Trail type of journey – To get the

word out to the next village might take a few days or weeks.

Even when my husband Dennis and I started dating (way back in the last

century!), we lived in different states for a while and wrote letters to each other,

so we can remember that it would take 3 or 4 days to send our messages.

Times have changed since then – and especially the way we communicate. While

this passage focuses on taming our tongues, if it were written today it would

encompass all of the ways we use words.

Just how powerful are our words today?

Consider this example – if I were to sit down and have a conversation with

(church member) today at lunch or even over the phone, and things got a little bit

snarky or I said a few things that were kind of harsh, some damage will be done. I

have the ability, even in that conversation, to have a change of heart, to apologize

for my carelessness, and to try to make things right.

Now, if I were to stand up here at the pulpit and say the same careless thing – now

I’ve multiplied that impact times the 150-200 or so people in this room. We don’t

have a live feed, maybe I could get to the audio recording and edit things before

the sermon is posted online. The damage said here feels like it is pretty

containable.

In today’s culture, we have so many more ways to communicate our words than

just speaking.

Now let’s imagine that instead of just speaking, I decide to put my unkind

thoughts out on Facebook, Twitter, or to vent a little in an email or text message.

What I have learned is that typed words often can take on a life of their own.

(Especially words taken out of context, which is something our soundbite culture

loves to do.) In just a few keystrokes, an email can go from one person to

hundreds. Emails passed from one person to another, even what starts as more or

less well-meaning emails from good people, have broken relationships, caused

people to lose jobs, and caused great damage. Faith communities have suffered

from the words of its members.

Added to this is the tricky element that we don’t know which words will be contagious, which will go viral – a few years ago I wrote a blog post about St. Barnabas’ tornado damage that was widely shared, and we ended up with more people sending Easter eggs than we could have ever imagined. I had to do some damage control to stop the flood of responses.

In 2013, I posted this Instagram picture as part of a Youth Ministry photo blog

challenge with the topic “where would you like to be in 10 years.” I was very

surprised a few months later when I received messages from friends in California,

New York, Ohio and Texas letting me know that the same photo was picked up

by a Buzzfeed/clickbait type Facebook post full of pretty unfavorable 10 year

change illustrations of celebrities like Brittney Spears and Will Smith. I no longer had any control over the context around my original words.

Words are powerful…and words are contagious.

Emails get forwarded, posts get shared – unlike the days of James’ letter when

we’d have to carry it by horseback, in an instant we can spread images and

messages around the world.

I invite you to take a moment to focus on this part of our Scripture from today –

it’s also printed in your worship guide: “People can tame and already have tamed

every kind of animal, bird, reptile and fish. No one can tame the tongue, though. It

is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we both bless the Lord and Father

and curse human beings made in God’s likeness. Blessing and cursing come from

the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, it just shouldn’t be this way!”

What strikes me about this text is that we have the power in our words for both

blessing and cursing.

You may have expected to hear a message about not saying bad things, but…

This means we have the unprecedented power to do good work with our

words, too.

There’s a Harvard Business Review article that investigated the impact of using

either positive feedback to constructive criticism to change team behavior.

They called the ratio the praise-to-criticism ratio, and monitored results in

companies and teams and different performance levels. The highest performing

teams used an overwhelmingly higher amount of praise to motivate behavior.

Interestingly, there is a similar study that shows effects of praise and criticism in

the success of marriage relationships and the results are similar. The research

varies, but the general consensus is that it takes about 5 or 6 positive comments to

beat out the negative messaging we hear.

If that’s accurate, let’s work out some math here in this room then.

Let’s say there are 150 people in the room to make the math easy.

If each of us made a commitment to have a positive impact with our words and

our witness once a day this week, that would be enough to overcome about 30

negative things a day. If we commit to each saying just 5 positive, life affirming

messages a day, that should work to even things out.

And yet, imagine what impact we could have if we all decided to be all in on this

project, if we all committed to doing our best to be positively impacting people

whenever/however we communicated this week – what kind of positive, life

giving force could we become?

What dreams and ministries and visions could we accomplish if we all vowed to

use our words to build one another up?

Our words are so powerful.

The tricky thing is, we never really know when we are saying words people are

hearing. My friend Bill probably had no earthly idea that he was saying something

to me that would be a sermon illustration a couple of decades later. He caught a

moment when I was ready to listen. We don’t know when we’ll have an impact or

who we are impacting, so let’s just commit to assuming each moment we have is

that moment of truth that can impact another life.

I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to think about what could happen to us as

a faith community if we committed to treating one another with that kind of care,

if we committed to lifting one another up with encouragement and put a stop to

grumbling, gossiping and complaining to one another. And then if we extend this

power of words beyond our walls…

We have the power to be an absolutely transforming force in the world. Let it be.

Amen.

Mission and Art

Thoughts from a Pastor, Artist, Speaker, Mom, and Friend.

Month: October 2018

Faith that Works: A Million Little Choices (The Vanilla Ice Sermon)

Faith That Works: Contagious – A sermon on James 3:1-12