I love a good Venn diagram. When I’m mentoring someone newer to church work, I usually end up drawing one on a napkin or a whiteboard. Two circles, overlapping in the middle.
One circle is everything we’re called to as followers of Jesus. Worship that’s actually genuine. Studying scripture. Praying for people. Repenting when we need to. Fighting for the vulnerable. Loving our neighbors, serving them, sharing what we have with them. Caring for creation. Asking hard questions about how to steward what God has given us.
Jesus is not an easy person to follow once you actually dig into the stories. He was a revolutionary who made powerful people uncomfortable on purpose. He loved the outcasts nobody else would touch, healing lepers and eating with tax collectors. He lifted up women and the lowly. He loved God and loved neighbor, and he backed it up with his life, all the way to the cross.
This is why most of us got into ministry in the first place. Christ’s love transformed us so deeply that we couldn’t help wanting to share it. At her best, the Church is full of the Holy Spirit, doing the work of loving like Jesus. That work is hard sometimes, but it’s holy. It’s the most meaningful thing I know.
The second circle is what I’d call “church work.” It overlaps with the first one, and some of it is genuinely necessary. Budgets and buildings and staff meetings make ministry possible. But it’s a different thing than following Jesus, and the two don’t automatically line up just because they happen under the same roof.
The Gap Nobody Warns You About
Here’s what I wish someone had told me earlier: what people expect church to feel like, what people expect it’s like to work for a church, and what the business side of church actually requires of the people doing it, are not always the same thing.
I went to seminary after already spending over a decade in local church youth ministry. I sat next to idealistic classmates who’d never worked on a church staff, who had no idea what happened behind the curtain. I don’t think we do young church workers any favors when we send them out without preparing them for that gap.
I already knew about it, actually. I’d been laid off from a church staff role for financial reasons once before, years before seminary, for reasons that had nothing to do with whether my work mattered. That experience shaped what I felt called toward next. When I sensed God pulling me into ordained ministry, I felt it very specifically toward the diaconate rather than eldership. Deacons are ordained too, we carry the title “Rev.,” but our calling centers on connecting the church to the needs of the world rather than running the institution. Some people call it leading from the second chair.
I’d watched what happens when the person in the first chair, the ordained elder or senior pastor, carries the full weight of budgets and buildings and board meetings. I have deep compassion for my senior pastor colleagues. The pressure to keep a church financially solvent, to perform well enough to keep a job, is enormous and mostly invisible to the congregation sitting in the pews on Sunday. As a deacon, I’ve been able to spend more of my time in that first circle: leading missions, teaching, helping shape worship, taking people on retreat, teaching spiritual practices. It’s a gift I don’t take for granted.
I’ll be honest that I have more to say about this gap, about what happens when church work quietly crowds out following Jesus, and I plan to keep writing about it in the seasons ahead. This piece isn’t the place to unpack all of that. For now, I just want to name that the gap exists, and that naming it isn’t the same as losing faith in the church.
It hasn’t felt that way. It feels more like clarity.
I still remember the drive home after my last day, AC blasting against the Texas heat, not sure yet what I felt. What surprised me was how much of it was relief. Hours that used to disappear into commuting and back-to-back meetings are mine again, and I’ve been spending them on the things I actually got into this work for in the first place. Sitting with scripture without an agenda. Praying without watching the clock. Letting myself grieve and hope in the same breath.
I do grieve for the institutional church. I love her, which is exactly why it hurts to watch her lose sight of her own vision. That grief is real and I’m not going to pretend it away. But grief isn’t the last word here. I still believe in the church God intends her to be. I’ve seen glimpses of it, in small kindnesses and honest rooms and people who showed up for each other with nothing to gain. I still believe she can get there.
So here’s the question I keep coming back to, the one I hope this diagram gets you asking too: is your work, is my work, bearing the right fruit? Galatians tells us what the Holy Spirit produces in a life: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Look at Jesus and you see deep compassion, radical humility, real strength, a life anchored in prayer, and a willingness to obey God all the way to the end.
That’s the circle worth living in.
I drew this diagram the same way I’ve drawn it a hundred times on whiteboards and napkins and the backs of bulletins, trying to help someone see where they’d wandered off center. This time I sat down with oil pastels instead, because some things need color and texture, not just lines. Because this isn’t just a concept to me. It’s the shape of my own life right now, and the shape I want for the church I still love.
I’d love for her to find her way back to that center. And I’d love for you to join me, wherever you find yourself this week, in choosing the circle that’s actually about following Jesus.
Follow Jesus boldly. That work is still worth it. That work was always worth it.
For Personal Reflection: In what ways have you experienced the tension between church work and following Jesus?
It’s been a while since I’ve written here, long enough that I owe you a bit of an update before I share what’s next.
A month ago, my role as Associate Pastor at Munger Place Church unexpectedly came to an abrupt end. It wasn’t the appointment ending I had planned, and it came for reasons that had more to do with budgets than with calling. If you’ve walked through something like this, with a job that ends before your love for the work does, you know the particular ache of it. I’m grateful for what that season of ministry held: the people I grew to love dearly, the classes, the small groups, the water we carried together for a world that thirsts for it. I don’t regret a minute of it.
Since then, I’ve been doing something I don’t always give myself permission to do: waiting.
Not waiting anxiously, and not waiting idle, but waiting the way you wait at the start of a retreat, when you’ve set down your bags and haven’t yet decided which trail to take. I don’t know yet where God is calling me to serve next. I’m not closing the door on a church appointment. I love the local church, and I may well end up back inside one. But I’ve also come to believe that ministry doesn’t have to wait for a title or a building to be real, or to be mine to give.
So for now, I’m building something new: a portfolio of ministry, doing the things I love the very most, offered directly to you and to the communities who need it.
What that means, practically
Rather than one full-time role, I’m gathering the things I already know how to do, and the things I really love doing, into a few clear offerings. Over the coming weeks I’ll be building out pages here so you can learn more about each one, but here’s the shape of it:
Morning Prayer Liturgy – For over six years, I have been offering a Facebook Live Morning Prayer based on the Upper Room Worship Book morning prayer liturgy – every single weekday at 8:30AM CST. This daily prayer and devotional practice fills my soul, keeps me grounded, and includes an incredible community with room for more. If you want to be a part of daily inspiration and prayer, you are welcome. If you know someone who may appreciate the daily prayer practice, feel free to like and share.
Substitute Preaching & Guest Speaking — Our world desperately needs spiritually healthy leaders. If you are a pastor in need of break, I’d love to fill your pulpit on a Sunday, or lead a retreat weekend, or speak at your conference or gathering. Story-centered preaching, a Wesleyan heart, and a deep well of material from over a decade of ordained ministry. And for the pastor, much-needed rest.
Spiritual Direction — One-on-one, contemplative accompaniment for the long haul of faith. I’m trained and certified through the SMU Perkins School of Theology Spiritual Direction program, and I have room for new directees. I am a member of Spiritual Directors International.
Customized Curriculum Development for Your Context — I love to write and teach. I know finding solid Wesleyan curriculum is a challenge. I’ve spent the last two years writing customized Wesleyan small group curriculum and I’d love to work with you to develop the perfect small group studies, sermon series companions, discipleship pathways built for real churches with real volunteers.
Art as a Spiritual Practice — Workshops in mixed-media collage as a way into prayer, grief, discernment, and joy. This one is close to my heart, and I think it’s going to grow into something bigger than a workshop someday. For now, I’d love to bring it to your church, retreat, or gathering.
Clergy & Leadership Coaching — Using 25 years of ministry experience and my Coach-Approach Skills Training (CAST) coaching certification, I’d love to walk alongside pastors and ministry leaders who are discerning, transitioning, or just plain tired.
Funerals/Weddings and Premarital Counseling — I am available for officiating funerals, weddings, and offering premarital counseling. I am certified in Prepare/Enrich counseling for couples who want to start their marriage with real tools, not just good intentions.
Collaborating on New Ministry Ideas – Perhaps you just need an experienced sounding board to walk with you on launching new ministries. This category is a catch-all, honestly. I’d love to dream and be creative with your local church!
Why I’m telling you this here
Partly practical – this website is where I’ll be sending people who want to book a Sunday, invite me to speak, or ask about spiritual direction. But partly, it’s just honest. I wanted you to know that this season isn’t a demotion or a consolation prize. It’s its own kind of calling, one where I get to show up in a lot of places at once, carrying whatever gifts are needed that day.
I don’t know exactly what this will look like a year from now. I’m holding it with open hands, the way I’d want you to hold your own unfinished chapters. But I know this much: I still believe in kinship, in the wideness of the table, in a God who overflows the cup rather than just filling it.
If any of what I’ve described sounds like something your church, group, or community could use, I’d love to talk. More pages and more specifics are coming soon. For now, consider this the opening of the door.
As I sit here, just after eagerly unwrapping my new paper 2025 planner, I can’t help but smile at the irony. You see, I’m a devoted planner – someone who finds deep joy in neatly writing out schedules, goals, and to-do lists. I love crossing tasks off a to-do list. I love keeping record of my plans and even add in extra silly holidays like September 19’s “Talk Like a Pirate Day.”
And yet, I always reach for my erasable pen when I put ink to paper. Why? Because life has taught me a valuable lesson, one that echoes the wisdom found in Proverbs 16:9:
“People plan their path, but the LORD secures their steps.” (CEB)
This verse reminds us that while we may chart our path with the best intentions, it’s ultimately God who guides our journey. (Remember the plans you thought you had made in 2020?) My erasable pen serves as a humble reminder of this truth. It allows me to plan with purpose while remaining open to the divine redirection that often comes our way.
Similarly, Psalm 37:23-24 offers us this reassurance:
“A person’s steps are made secure by the LORD when they delight in his way. Though they trip up, they won’t be thrown down, because the LORD holds their hand.” (CEB)
Just as my erasable ink allows for changes without marring the page, God’s guiding hand ensures that our missteps and changed plans don’t define our journey. Instead, they become part of the beautiful, sometimes messy, always grace-filled story God is writing with our lives.
As you reflect on your own experiences, consider:
When has God redirected your carefully laid plans in unexpected ways?
How have you seen God’s divine hand at work, even in moments of apparent setback or change?
What lessons have you learned about balancing careful planning with openness to God’s leading?
Embracing the Unwritten Future
As I look at my new planner, pages crisp and empty, I’m reminded of the blank canvas that each new day presents. With my erasable pen in hand, I’m prepared to write, erase, and rewrite as needed. This practice has become more than just a planning method – it’s a spiritual discipline that keeps me humble and open to God’s ongoing work in my life and ministry.
Here are some final thoughts to consider as we navigate the delicate balance between planning and trusting:
Plan with Purpose, Hold with Open Hands View your plans as a compass, not a cage. Let them point you in the right direction without restricting God’s ability to lead you on unexpected adventures
Find Joy in the Journey Remember that God is as interested in the process of our growth as God is in the outcome. Each erased plan is an opportunity to draw closer to God and understand God’s ways better.
Trust the Master Planner When our plans change, it’s not a sign of failure, but an invitation to trust more deeply. God sees the bigger picture and is working all things together for good (Romans 8:28).
As you go about your week, I encourage you to plan with intention but to hold those plans loosely. Write your goals and dreams in your planner, but keep that erasable pen handy. For in the erasing and rewriting, in the adjusting and adapting, we often find the most profound moments of God’s grace and guidance.
May your steps be firm, your heart be open, and your plans be ever-aligned with God’s perfect will. And remember, even when life seems to erase our carefully laid plans, God is writing a story far more beautiful than we could ever imagine.
Holy God, we love to plan out the course of our life and we love to have some sort of sense of control in a world that sometimes seems chaotic. Help us to trust that you have a divine plan for our lives. We pray that you will direct our steps and we will be faithful to follow. Amen.
Publishing a book is an interesting and vulnerable process. Teaching a Bible Study based on your own book is an odd joy and so humbling.
Realizing there is a big typo – that’s a bit embarrassing.
If you are one of the sweet souls who bought the first edition of my first ever book, and you are teaching a Lent study, thank you for your grace.
Here are the correct reflection questions for Session II:
10-20 mins: Scripture Reading and Reflection
Read Mark 12:28-34 aloud.
“One of the legal experts heard their dispute and saw how well Jesus answered them. He came over and asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?”
Jesus replied, “The most important one is Israel, listen! Our God is the one Lord, and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, You will love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.”
The legal expert said to him, “Well said, Teacher. You have truthfully said that God is one and there is no other besides him. And to love God with all of the heart, a full understanding, and all of one’s strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself is much more important than all kinds of entirely burned offerings and sacrifices.”
When Jesus saw that he had answered with wisdom, he said to him, “You aren’t far from God’s kingdom.” After that, no one dared to ask him any more questions.”
Lead a reflection on the scripture.
What resonates with you in the Great Commandment?
How does the command to love God and neighbor challenge and inspire you?
Love is not just a sentiment. Love is a commitment to the well-being of others. Reflect on the call to love beyond the surface.
How does this scripture passage relate to the vision statement “We are followers of Jesus, seeking the loving, just and free world God imagines for all people”?
In November 2023, I attended a core leadership meeting for the Central, North and Northwest Conferences of the United Methodist Church.
Bishop Saenz unveiled a vision statement and strategic priorities for the conference.
Vision: We are followers of Jesus, seeking the loving, just and free world God imagines for all people.
Strategic Priorities:
• Champion Children & Youth
• Maximize Care & Healing
• Pursue & Embrace Diversity
• Multiply Jesus Followers
• Tell Our Story
A member of the team said offhandedly, “Wouldn’t it be great if someone would write a Bible study on our vision statement and really unpack what it means?”
I agreed & was sparked by the suggestion. Here is that book.
It is my prayer that this 6-session Wesleyan Bible Study, “Loving, Just & Free,” not only explores a powerful vision statement, but also transforms hearts and minds as it incorporates meaningful discussion and creative offerings.
I also had so much fun writing, editing, and creating this project. It is a joy to create meaningful work! May it be a blessing.
“The kingdom, Jesus taught, is right here — present yet hidden, immanent yet transcendent. It is at hand — among us and beyond us, now and not-yet. The kingdom of heaven, he said, belongs to the poor, the meek, the peacemakers, the merciful, and those who hunger and thirst for God. It advances not through power and might, but through missions of mercy, kindness, and humility. In this kingdom, many who are last will be first and many who are first will be last. The rich don’t usually get it, Jesus said, but children always do. This is a kingdom whose savior arrives not on a warhorse, but a donkey, not through triumph and conquest, but through death and resurrection. This kingdom is the only kingdom that will last.”
– Rachel Held Evans Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again
What does it mean to hunger for God?
When I was working in youth ministry, one of my favorite events to lead was the World Vision 30 Hour Famine. During this event, students and brave adults fast for 30 hours, drinking only juice at mealtimes and skipping out on a dinner, snacks, breakfast and lunch. While fasting, we would play games, learn facts about world hunger, do service projects, and experience first-hand how going without food affects your mental and physical abilities. We developed empathy for the world’s hungry.
After 30 hours, we relished the opportunity to break our fast with communion followed by dinner. Nothing tastes sweeter than a generous helping of communion bread when you long to be fed.
In my privileged life, I have never really had to worry about whether I would eat again. The practice of fasting helped me to appreciate the sense of being empty, longing for nourishment and being filled.
Fasting from food helped me realize my deep hunger. I longed to be nourished with real food, not empty calories.
In the spiritual life, we long for real connection, not shallow faith.
I pray that, in the same way I anticipated that first bite of communion bread, I can also long to be filled with the spirit of God.
Prayer:
Dear God, we thank you for being a God who meets our needs faithfully. Teach us to be people who hunger and thirst for you. Amen.
Suggested Reading: Isaiah 58:1-12
Shout loudly; don’t hold back; raise your voice like a trumpet! Announce to my people their crime, to the house of Jacob their sins. 2 They seek me day after day, desiring knowledge of my ways like a nation that acted righteously, that didn’t abandon their God. They ask me for righteous judgments, wanting to be close to God. 3 “Why do we fast and you don’t see; why afflict ourselves and you don’t notice?” Yet on your fast day you do whatever you want, and oppress all your workers. 4 You quarrel and brawl, and then you fast; you hit each other violently with your fists. You shouldn’t fast as you are doing today if you want to make your voice heard on high. 5 Is this the kind of fast I choose, a day of self-affliction, of bending one’s head like a reed and of lying down in mourning clothing and ashes? Is this what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?
6 Isn’t this the fast I choose: releasing wicked restraints, untying the ropes of a yoke, setting free the mistreated, and breaking every yoke? 7 Isn’t it sharing your bread with the hungry and bringing the homeless poor into your house, covering the naked when you see them, and not hiding from your own family? 8 Then your light will break out like the dawn, and you will be healed quickly. Your own righteousness will walk before you, and the Lord’s glory will be your rear guard. 9 Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and God will say, “I’m here.” If you remove the yoke from among you, the finger-pointing, the wicked speech; 10 if you open your heart to the hungry, and provide abundantly for those who are afflicted, your light will shine in the darkness, and your gloom will be like the noon. 11 The Lord will guide you continually and provide for you, even in parched places. He will rescue your bones. You will be like a watered garden, like a spring of water that won’t run dry. 12 They will rebuild ancient ruins on your account; the foundations of generations past you will restore. You will be called Mender of Broken Walls, Restorer of Livable Streets. (Source: Biblegateway.com)
“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
– Anne Lamott
Where were you when you last received news that brought you to tears?
Last December I got a phone call with news that rocked my world. What I learned was that my dad has cancer, and his future is uncertain. While we are always hopeful, finding out that someone I love is facing a battle for his life has shifted my priorities and helped me to realize what is important versus what is “urgent.” While I would never ask for this kind of news, it’s a blessing to have a reminder of what in life is most important – and the answer is your relationships with people, friends, family, and not work, busy-ness and achievement.
No matter what news you may receive, may you be blessed with learning to dance in a beautiful, life-honoring way. Life is beautiful, complicated and messy. It is full of news – good and bad. And the best news of all is that we have a God who walks alongside and dances with us no matter our circumstances.
ESJ
Prayer:
God of Good News, thank you for the blessings you give abundantly, for dancing with us throughout life. Thank you for the people and relationships who fill our lives with love. Amen.
Suggested Reading – Romans 1:8-17:
8 First of all, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because the news about your faithfulness is being spread throughout the whole world.9 I serve God in my spirit by preaching the good news about God’s Son, and God is my witness that I continually mention you10 in all my prayers. I’m always asking that somehow, by God’s will, I might succeed in visiting you at last.11 I really want to see you to pass along some spiritual gift to you so that you can be strengthened.12 What I mean is that we can mutually encourage each other while I am with you. We can be encouraged by the faithfulness we find in each other, both your faithfulness and mine.
13 I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that I planned to visit you many times, although I have been prevented from coming until now. I want to harvest some fruit among you, just as I have done among the other Gentiles.14 I have a responsibility both to Greeks and to those who don’t speak Greek, both to the wise and to the foolish.
15 That’s why I’m ready to preach the gospel also to you who are in Rome.16 I’m not ashamed of the gospel: it is God’s own power for salvation to all who have faith in God, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.17 God’s righteousness is being revealed in the gospel, from faithfulness for faith, as it is written, The righteous person will live by faith. (Source: BibleGateway.com)
Holy and loving God, the one who is rich in mercy,
So often we feel heavy laden with the weight of all that feels wrong in our life. We worry about our future, we worry about the suffering around us, we worry about our health and our finances and our relationships. We carry the load of this stress on our shoulders, often feeling alone in our struggles. Often feeling too proud to ask for help.
Yet you, God, are our burden lifter.
When we feel overwhelmed with stress and worry, when the baggage that comes with living this messy life feels like too much to carry, you gently whisper to us:
“Cast all your anxiety – cast all your cares – on me. I love you, my child, let me share the load.”
We lift up this morning the people who are struggling to hear your whispers of hope.
We pray for our brothers and sisters who are trapped in broken systems of injustice. We pray for our kindred who are mourning the loss of a loved one. We pray for children who have lost their parents, no matter their age. We pray for your whispers of hope and your arms of love to bring comfort and peace.
We do not need to be anxious about anything, but with our prayers we can bring our requests to you and you are faithful to mercifully help us with our burdens.
We pray that through all of our past, present and future suffering, we can remember that you call us to acts of mercy. As you are our burden lifter, you call us as your children to help others in need. Grant us the courage and wisdom to walk boldly and mercifully so that, in all we do, you may be glorified.
We pray this in the name of the One who carried our sins to the cross, Jesus Christ, who taught us to pray, saying, Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be your name…
This is part two of a three part message series called I Want to Know What Love Is. It was preached originally on the same weekend as United Methodist Special General Conference 2019. See What’s Love Got to Do With It and The Power of Love for the rest of the series.
Our scripture reading:
Ephesians 4:1-16 CEB
Unity of the body of Christ
4 Therefore, as a prisoner for the Lord, I encourage you to live as people worthy of the call you received from God.2 Conduct yourselves with all humility, gentleness, and patience. Accept each other with love, 3 and make an effort to preserve the unity of the Spirit with the peace that ties you together. 4 You are one body and one spirit, just as God also called you in one hope. 5 There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 and one God and Father of all, who is over all, through all, and in all.
7 God has given his grace to each one of us measured out by the gift that is given by Christ.8 That’s why scripture says, When he climbed up to the heights, he captured prisoners, and he gave gifts to people.
9 What does the phrase “he climbed up” mean if it doesn’t mean that he had first gone down into the lower regions, the earth?10 The one who went down is the same one who climbed up above all the heavens so that he might fill everything.
11 He gave some apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers.12 His purpose was to equip God’s people for the work of serving and building up the body of Christ 13 until we all reach the unity of faith and knowledge of God’s Son. God’s goal is for us to become mature adults—to be fully grown, measured by the standard of the fullness of Christ. 14 As a result, we aren’t supposed to be infants any longer who can be tossed and blown around by every wind that comes from teaching with deceitful scheming and the tricks people play to deliberately mislead others. 15 Instead, by speaking the truth with love, let’s grow in every way into Christ, 16 who is the head. The whole body grows from him, as it is joined and held together by all the supporting ligaments. The body makes itself grow in that it builds itself up with love as each one does its part.
May God add a blessing to the hearing, understanding and living of this Holy word. Amen.
Sermon: You Give Love a Bad Name
ROADTRIP STORY:
Have you ever been on a family road trip? How did that go?
Many of you know that I am a mom of 4 children – at one point it was just the three children. In the summer of 2011, my oldest children were 10, 8 and 5, and I had an unexpectedly open summer schedule.
It seemed like the perfect time to create a road trip that would knock a few things off of my bucket list like seeing The Grand Canyon.
The perfect 2 week road trip was mapped out. We mapped out the perfect route – first west through New Mexico & Arizona, then up through Nevada & Utah, to Washington State….We came back swinging by Yellowstone Park’s Old Faithful… and the Rockies in Colorado.
Small hiccup in the plan, my husband Dennis had a mandatory graduate school orientation, meaning it would just be my mom, three kids and myself for the adventure. (We brought “flat daddy” along). We also had to switch to a smaller car without the three rows of separation…
Well (sigh) sometimes road trips look great on paper…but reality might be a different experience!
A few things I learned while having 5 people on the road for two weeks, with three of the people being kids:
Not every hotel has a swimming pool, but they all should.
There are only so many kid appropriate Redbox rentals in the American West.
Traveling with small children – you need more snacks than you think you need & nobody is at their best when they’re hungry.
Driving with a car full of whining, fighting, and crankiness is no fun at all.
Those little dots on the maps in the American West are not really towns, they might just be a couple of houses. There are no places to use the restroom or buy snacks there. I think they just put them there so you’re not scared of being so far between rest stops.
Over two weeks is a LONG time to be in close quarters with anybody at all – even the people you love the very most.
Somehow, we survived the adventure and we still love each other. I’m not proud of this, but there may have been moments along that route when I gave the empty threats like “do I need to pull this car over?” and “do I need to leave you all out here by the road if you can’t all stop fighting?!”
Almost 10 years later, I still get flashbacks to that trip if the kids start to argue in the car…But we’re family, so we know we’re going to stick together, right? For the record, I was never going to really leave them there – but I bet I did pull the car over a few times.
Which brings me to this great quote I heard in a podcast recently:
CLAUDIA RANKINE QUOTE: Poet, essayist and playwright Claudia Rankine said, “I spend a lot of time thinking about, how can I say this so that we can stay in this car together, and yet explore the things I want to explore with you?”[1]
I love this metaphor! Rankine was referring to hard conversations about race relations, but it’s a question that speaks to all sorts of conflicts and division between people.
We live steeped in a culture that constantly tries to put people in one camp or the other, dividing us into our own little factions and groups. We are divided politically and socially, but we even disagree about things like Little League games or whether toilet paper is supposed to go over or under the roll.
While we disagree about many things, it doesn’t have to become an ugly fight.
“How can I say this so that we can stay in this car together, and yet explore the things I want to explore with you?”
As the Body of Christ, this is a question worth pondering before we speak to each other and especially before we speak about each other. As we may have vastly different life experiences and vastly different understandings, how can we speak to one another in a way that creates unity, in a manner that increases understanding, one that keeps us together?
Every community of people has disagreements, every church has disagreements. Change is hard, especially within the walls of a community we hold so closely in our heart. I can’t tell you how many complaints I hear if we make a change from the “way things always have been.” What are some from year’s past that you can remember having here at New World? (carpet color? Worship times?)
I confess, it might not be 100% coincidental that this sermon title was assigned to this week of the series…
This weekend, 864 representatives from the global UMC are having a called general conference to decide the denomination’s official stance on whether a church building or a clergyperson can perform same sex marriages, and on the full inclusion of our LGBTQ siblings’ ordination as clergy. This is a conference that may end up with a fight. While we do not yet know the outcome, the decision is one that will impact our global denomination in ways we cannot yet see.
As you might guess, I am connected to a LOT of United Methodists through social media. I estimate that 70% or so of my FB connections are tied to The United Methodist Church in some way. It has been a tough few weeks for me to even look at what people are love and respect deeply are posting and commenting. I’ve hidden my FB icon on my phone so I don’t easily click on it.
Our culture loves a good fight, doesn’t it?
The problem is, when Christians fight, all the world sees is the fight. It doesn’t usually happen on a big, global denominational level, we fight among ourselves about all sorts of things. We all probably know people who have left because of something or someone, perhaps a change that upset them.
No matter the final vote, there will be people who will decide they cannot take anymore, they will make the decision to exit the denominational car, so to speak. It’s hard to watch.
At the local level, here in our local church, there is no requirement that we fight too. We can choose the long road of unity, we can choose to “stay in the car.”
As Christians, we are called to be people of love. When the disagreements happen, especially in very public ways, we “give love a bad name.” We miss out on the opportunity to share the witness of a God who loves all.
This all brings us to our scripture reading for this message. This is a letter to a church that was having disagreements too, the young Christian church at Ephesus (churches have been disagreeing about theology for as long as there have been churches.)
In this short passage from Ephesians, the theme is unity and oneness. I’m going to repeat the first few verses & invite you to count with me the number of times Paul uses the word “one” : Therefore, as a prisoner for the Lord, I encourage you to live as people worthy of the call you received from God.2 Conduct yourselves with all humility, gentleness, and patience. Accept each other with love, 3 and make an effort to preserve the unity of the Spirit with the peace that ties you together. 4 You are one body and one spirit, just as God also called you in one hope. 5 There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 and one God and Father of all, who is over all, through all, and in all.
“One” is used seven times. In the chapters right before this, the writer is talking about our identity in Christ, like last week’s reminder that we are all made in the image of God, we all matter to God.
This is an important lesson for any Body of Christians. In the church, even if we know we should connect to one another, we selfishly pursue our own agendas. Whether it’s politics, religion, whether toilet paper goes over or under…We make other Christians (ones who disagree with our positions) the “bad guys.” When we do this, we are participating in the tearing apart of Christ’s body.
It’s worth pointing out that we are not required to all have the same opinions on things. We are however, called to watch how we conduct ourselves and accept each other with love.
Now, more than ever, an important question to consider: how can we witness to the world that we can be one, that we can give “Love” a good name?
This is where we come back to the idea of agape love. Remember, God’s agape love is freely given, offered without condition. Do you remember the 3 H’s about agape we covered last Sunday – It is a love that is honest, hopeful & humble. It is a love that is looking for the good in other people.
In the Gospel of John, Christ paints a beautiful picture of what it looks like to abide in his presence in love. He says, “I am the true fine, and my Father is the gardener…Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a person remains in me and I in them, they will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing…”
Jesus explains to his followers in this beautiful image of love and charity, friendship and community, that just as a branch cannot bear fruit by itself, his disciples cannot love one another, much less bring others to faith, apart from the abiding love of Christ.
For some reason, we seem to live as if we were sent in this world to compete with one another, to quarrel and fight. Jesus did not choose us to live a life reflective of the world; Christ did not call us to bring the division of the world into our churches. Rather we are to represent Christ in the world. Jesus chose us, first to come to him and then go out to the world. And that must be the daily pattern and rhythm to our lives.
As friends of Christ, Christians, we are called to a commitment of solidarity toward unity as we witness in a broken and divided world. We are to live in such a way that we show what is meant by loving one another. We are not sent out to argue people into Christianity, nor to threaten them into it, but to attract them into it through our love; so to live that its fruits may be so wonderful others will desire them for themselves.
We have to figure out ways to have difficult conversations but work through our differences. We have to set aside our own pride and personal agendas in order to work hand-in-hand to reach out to the world.
When Christians focus more on the differences than what unites us, we are not reflecting the love of Christ, we are not bearing fruit. While we are busy arguing, the world looks at us and wonders, what’s so great about God because Christ’s church seems just as ineffective as every other institution in the world.
When we are divided over differences of opinions, love must prevail.
Christ has come so that we will bear fruit that will last, whether in terms of a single life changed because we loved somebody as Jesus loved us, or in terms of a single decision we had to make or tasks we had to perform, through which the world became a different and better place.
Love makes both the lover and the beloved more like Jesus.
Brothers and sisters, I want to be more like Jesus. I think we all do. I want to love like Christ loved.
I want to affirm that you are worthy of receiving that love too. You are a worthy, precious child of God. When I say that, I am saying that to each and every one of you.
You are a worthy, precious child of God.
I am tired of the fighting and the division. I’m tired of having to try and defend a church that looks less and less like the body of Christ and more and more like the divided world around us.
New World, it is my deepest prayer that we can be countercultural in the best ways imaginable. That we can be a community of faith who loves God and loves neighbors unconditionally. That we can give love a good name by how we love one another.
CLOSE IN PRAYER/CUE FOR BAND
Let us pray:
God of deep and abiding love, God of all people,
We confess that there are moments when we fail to love you with our whole hearts, and when we fail to show grace to one another as your children of God. Forgive us for failing to see the harm we inflict when we use the excuse of “speaking the truth in love” to really mean “telling others what they are doing wrong.” Instead, lead us to treat one another with grace and love, especially those with whom we disagree.
This weekend, we pray for our global church, the delegates at General Conference, and for the decisions being made. We recognize and lament that decisions made have the potential to cause deep harm to our brothers and sisters in Christ. We pray that your Holy Spirit fills the conversations and decision making, and we trust that you are still God.
No matter the outcome, we pray to be a community that loves you with our whole hearts, people who share your love with all of our neighbors, and to “give love a good name” as your representatives.
We pray to be worthy of the name “Christ follower.”
Where were you when you last received news that brought you to tears?
Holy and loving God, the one who is rich in mercy,
