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Want to Understand the Teenage Brain?

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Gracing the cover of this month’s National Geographic magazine is “The New Science of the Teenage Brain,” a headline the result of years of research on teenage brain development.  It attempts to answer the age-old question about teenage risky behavior, “What on Earth was he doing?”
As a person who works with and loves teenagers, what do you need to know from this article that will help you in your ministry?  

Based on new research by the National Institute of Health, this article proposes some new takes on the teenage brain.  Instead of saying teenagers do what they do because their brain is simply immature, it proposes that the teenage brain is actually  wonderfully adaptive for making the transition between childhood and living on your own.  The idea is based on evolutionary theory (called the adaptive-adolescent story) and suggests that even risky teen behavior is a natural part of development.

What I found most interesting is a new explanation on teenage risk-taking:

Teens take more risks not because they don’t understand the dangers but because they weigh risk versus reward differently: In situations where risk can get them something they want, they value the reward more heavily than adults do.

While conventional wisdom might say that when a teen does something risky, they are not thinking of potential consequences, the study suggests that teens simply view risk/reward differently than mature adults.  In fact, studies showed that teens might even pay higher attention to potential risks.  However, teens tend to place a higher value on potential or even perceived rewards to behavior than adults.  In short, a mature adult may avoid a behavior (let’s say jumping off a cliff into the ocean) because of potential harm (let’s go with broken bones or death).  A teen will also be aware of the potential harm, but puts more value on perceived rewards like peer recognition…as in, how cool will I look when I survive.  Another idea is that youth thrill-seeking experiences can lead to positive traits – the love of adventure and new experiences helps teens to widen circles of friends and grow as a person.

The research, much like the adolescents themselves, is still in progress and well worth reading & sharing with your youth and adults.  A few thoughts from this youthworker on how we can apply this research: I think it can only help to cast the teenage brain in a positive light.  In youth ministry, we could feed into the natural tendency toward risk-taking and adventure by offering opportunities to try new things. We can also offer more ways to reward teens for their choices through recognition.

What do you think?  Are there ways we can use this research to work better in youth ministry?

 

Not Enough Volunteers – 5 Pitfalls of Volunteer Recruiting and Care

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Want to spot a healthy youth ministry in 10 seconds or less?  Show up at a meeting and count the number of parent or adult volunteers.  If there is less than one adult for every 4-6 youth, youth could be falling through the cracks.

Volunteers are crucial to a healthy youth ministry.  If you are essentially running a one person or staff-only led program, you might just be on the way to running yourself into the ground.  And if you’ve found yourself thinking you just don’t have enough volunteers to help, maybe it’s something you are doing wrong.  Here are some common “Not Enough” pitfalls when it comes to working with volunteers:

1.  Not enough volunteers.

Sure, you probably can teach a message to your youth by yourself.  You can run the whole show…and if we’re honest, it’s probably simpler to plan if you are the one leading everything.  But is that biblically sound and healthy?  Is it sustainable in the long run?  By putting all the responsibility on yourself, are you leaving others out of the opportunity to minister to others?  Consider this: when multitudes came before Jesus, he didn’t try to individually minister to all of them, he trained disciples to do that.  He was closer to some people than others, and as much as you love your youth, you will be closer to some more than others, too.  Instead of leading everything yourself, enlist the help of volunteers to lead different parts of your youth ministry according to their gifts.

If an average adult can reach 4-6 youth, you should have a 1:5 ratio of adults to youth to make sure you’ve got enough volunteers to cover the group.   While that covers the ideal number of adults, you also need a variety of volunteers.  I know that as a female in ministry, I can only teach young men so much about what it means to be a man of God – so you also need a healthy mix of male and female adult volunteers.  (For more cool facts, you can check out this article on youth ministry numbers.)

You may already have a handful of faithful volunteers who you know will say yes whenever you need help.  That’s awesome – It’s great to have consistent volunteers, but you can enrich your ministry just by adding new voices to the mix.  You never know with whom teens will relate, so a mix of old and young and a variety of personalities is a good thing, too.

2. Not enough GOOD recruiting.

So you want to get enough volunteers, but no one is raising their hands.  It could be a problem with recruiting technique.  Maybe you are frustrated because you sent an email asking for volunteers or you made an announcement in church, yet nobody signed up?  Mass calls for volunteers like this, just like any kind of mass marketing, often leads to low response rate or worse, the wrong people volunteer.

To recruit well, spend time in prayer first.  Ask God to bring to light the ministry gifts you need to find and the right person.  Ask trusted church members and parents for suggestions.  Ask the youth to pray about it.  When you’ve come up with a potential list of volunteers, ask each person personally (or have the youth ask) to pray about volunteering.

And the key to great recruiting: The more you ask specific people to do specific tasks, tasks that align with their interests and gifts, the better results you will have.  It takes a special personality to volunteer with youth all the time, but I bet there are adults in your congregation who’d be happy to volunteer for special projects.

3. Not enough caring for volunteers.

Once you’ve got an awesome team of youth ministry volunteers recruited, what’s next?  Care about them.  Even the most faithful of volunteers needs to know that you care about them if you want them to care about your program.  Want a volunteer team that goes the extra mile?  Care about them.  Know what is going on in their lives, pray with them, keep updated.  Volunteers are going to really care and support what you do once they know how much you care about them.

In fact, if you want to multiply your youth ministry, realize that you are probably in volunteer ministry first.  You can only really reach a handful or so youth yourself, but if you can really invest in volunteers and get them to minister to youth, more youth will be positively impacted.

Keep a log of your contacts with volunteers – How often are you face-to-face with your volunteers, are you checking on them? Praying for them?  Have you had your student leaders say thank you to your volunteers?  A best demonstrated practice: a youth minister meets with his team at the local coffee shop right after youth group – they debrief the evening, plan for the next week & share concerns and prayers for each other.  Bonus: they minister to the employees at the coffee shop while they are there.

4. Not enough training.

Whether you lead the class, it’s a continuing ed class across town or the National Youth Workers Convention, volunteers love to be trained.  (Bonus, the time spent traveling to training is a great time to catch up on what’s going on in the lives of your volunteers.)  If you are the one leading the training for your volunteers, this is a great chance to share your vision for the youth ministry with your team.

A best demonstrated training practice is weekly training as part of a weekly planning meeting.  For example, it could be that one hour before the youth group time, all volunteers get together to go over the meeting plans, as well as learn something about better youth ministry together.

5. Not enough pruning.

It’s painful, but from time to time, you may have to ask a volunteer to step down.  Sometimes, we have volunteers that need to be asked to take a break from youth ministry because of personal issues or personality conflicts.  There are a multitude of reasons – maybe they don’t have the gifts for the role, or youth ministry has become their outlet for airing personal problems.  Whatever the problem, if you have a volunteer that does not support you and your leadership, they can be like poison for your ministry.  Do not keep unhealthy volunteers around just because no one else is lined up to volunteer.

When you decide it is time for a volunteer to step down or  switch roles, do pray about the conversation.  Bring in a pastor and keep things as loving and kind as possible.

Recruiting and taking care of volunteers may be the most important part of your ministry.  When I reflect on my own youth group as a teen, it was a volunteer 40-something year old hairdresser who touched my life and encouraged me to be in ministry (not the youth director.)  You never know who God will use in ministry.

 

What volunteer ministry successes/struggles have you had?  Would love to hear your comments and ideas.

 

Follow @ErinJackso

How I Survived Getting Fired

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Ever been blindsided?

Maybe you’ve seen the show “Survivor.”  It’s a competition of physical survival, sure, but it’s primarily social survival.   A fascinating part of the plot is when a contestant falsely believes he’s secure in his tribe, safe at tribal council and then is completely blown away as he’s cast out from the tribe.  The old blindside – like watching a train wreck – it’s intriguing to watch from the safety of our couch, isn’t it?  In his post-tribal council interview, he is full of shock, hurt, anger, disbelief.

Ever felt that way in youth ministry?  I have.

It’s hard for me to share this so publicly, but a few months ago I was blindsided when I learned on a Tuesday morning that I had lost my youth director job and that the next Sunday would be my last one serving the church.  I was told that my ministry gifts were appreciated, but I was “just not a good fit” for that specific church.

From my perspective, here’s what happened: I knew without a doubt that I had done all that I was asked to do and that I had poured my heart into my ministry.  I could see the fruit of my hard work in the form of new missions, new excitement and even in the form of youth being called into ministry.  Good discipleship was happening.  Although there had been some snags along the way, things seemed to be on a good path.

Back to the game of social survival.  Clearly there were members of the tribe that were dissatisfied with how things looked from the outside and they had the social power I lacked.  I wasn’t given much in the way of warning signs – although in retrospect, there were a few.  It turns out “the tribe had spoken” months earlier when I wasn’t in the room… I know this because someone had already been hired to replace my role.

That hurt.  My head still spinning, I had a great conversation with my friend, Len Evans (perfectly gifted for his role at Simply Soul Care) about the five main reasons youth ministers get fired.  Here’s the deal – I had believed I was immune to getting fired, but getting fired in youth ministry is fairly common.  After talking to many a fired youth worker over the years, Len had found basically 5 common reasons.  His advice helped me to better understand what had happened in my own situation, so maybe it can help someone you know too. Here’s a great excerpt in Len’s words:

The phrase “It wasn’t a good fit” is often used to explain transitioning and turnovers between ministries and ministers. It’s an ambiguous phrase but it speaks volumes.  I’ve always wanted to establish a long-term ministry at one church and yet I’m serving my third church in nine years.  I learned through the transitions the importance of finding the mystical “good fit”. A good number of hurts that require healing can be avoided if you know which fits to look for.

1. Theological Fit: This should be obvious but too many youth workers who grew up Baptist wonder why they have a difficult time in a mainline church, or the other way around. Unless you plant your own church there will rarely be a 100% theological match so know your theological non-negotiables.

I had a perfect fit theologically at my first church because the entire pastoral staff went to the same seminary. The differences do make a difference. Just because you are able to get along with someone that holds different theological views doesn’t mean that you can serve in the same church with them. I have a lot of friends from the entire spectrum of Christianity, we can pray together and I know they loved Jesus but I would never be able to work in some of their churches. It’s a matter of conviction and integrity.

2. Philosophical Fit: You and the church may value evangelism but if you don’t agree on how to do evangelism eventually you will have conflict.  If one person in your church wants to hand out tracts to anyone and everyone and another person wants to have a holistic approach to reaching their friends, there will be a conflict when they discuss evangelism.  If the church defines youth worker as events coordinator and you think of yourself as a pastor who is about equipping others for ministry, there will be problems eventually.

Spoken or unspoken, there are different expectations about a youth ministry’s role in the church. Is the purpose of your youth ministry primarily outreach to the unchurched, discipleship of the saints, just keeping kids busy and out of trouble?  What do you think it is?  What does the senior pastor believe it is?  If everyone was really honest, what would other members of the church think it is?  Unless a clear, consistent message is communicated from pastoral leadership, and especially if different factions of your church disagree, you might find your own views (and your job) ending up on the fault line.  The tricky part to navigate is when the ministry’s stated purpose does not line up with the real expectations on your role.  In other words, even if your job description might say “equip students to be disciples,” your success or failure might really be measured by how many students attended your ski trip, retreat, etc.

3. Personal Fit: This applies primarily to the working and personal relationship with the senior pastor, although it also impacts other church leadership and personal interactions.  A friend of mine spoke to almost 400 senior pastors at the ’96 National Clergy Conference in Atlanta. He asked “Who’s really close to their youth pastor”?  Only one pastor slowly raised his hand.  Everyone in a church setting should do what they can to ensure that more hands are raised at the next Pastor’s Conference when that question is asked.

Another challenge to personal fit is change in leadership…which happens a lot in the UMC.  At the first church I served, the pastor who hired me stated clearly “When it comes to disagreements between the church council and staff, I am going to side with the staff person.  I’ve got your back.”  I didn’t understand the value of that statement until, two senior pastors later, the new pastor called me into a meeting to question me in front of a lay leader about a “concern brought to her attention” that really was just a misunderstanding I could have clarified if she’d only asked me first.  She clearly did not share the same philosophy as the pastor who hired me.

4. Vocational Fit: Does the job description really fit who you’re wired to be?  “Youth Pastor” can mean nursery through College at different churches. Make sure your church’s job description reflects your passion, your abilities and your calling.

The first question you should ask is “Can I do the job as it’s described?” The more important question to ask is, “Do I want to do the job as it’s described”? There will always be part of work that are not enjoyed but hopefully the majority of what the job description requires is what you are able to do naturally and with skill.

5. Cultural Fit: This applies to regional, socio-economic, education and more. My wife and I grew up in Alabama but we loved our time in New England. We were accepted and if you know any New Englander’s you know being accepted is a big deal. This is not a right or wrong issue but just a matter of personal preferences and deciding what you are able to live with because you will not change the culture of where you are living.

These Five Areas are not the only areas to consider but I believe they are the five key areas.  One of the hardest things about the interview process is it involves people.  I don’t believe that youth pastors or search committees ever mean to mislead one another just so they can find someone but I do think the problems come to the surface after they begin their working relationship because they don’t know themselves well. So people articulate the proper phrase but they may not have the actual values that put the words into action.

Most of us have been in situations where we didn’t have all of these and probably very few of us have all five so I’m not saying “Unless you have these you won’t have an effective ministry” but I am saying, “The closer your fit in each area the better chance you’ll have at having an effective and long-term ministry.

You could add a #6. Practical Fit.  Can you live off your salary?  You might have the perfect job in every other area, but if you can’t practically live on the wage you are getting paid, it can’t be sustainable.

In my story, I probably lost my job for reasons somewhere between it not being a good philosophical fit and personal fit.  I worked for a church that is still working to identify a clear purpose and vision for its youth ministry.

Why I am better for having been fired: I know better now what my gifts are, what kind of youthworker I am and what to look for in a youth ministry position.  I was asked to leave a good church, but I have learned that it was probably not a good church for my gifts and passions.  In hindsight, I probably sensed something wasn’t working there for me, but now I can articulate what went awry.  I imagine that God might call me to the perfect youth ministry church for me someday, but for now I love having this opportunity to minister to youthworkers and volunteer in youth ministry.

Even in the moment of being told I had lost my job, I knew God had a hand in all that was going on.

In God’s own creativity, He prepared me to minister to youthworkers in a way I could not have learned better any other way.  God has been able to use my experience to minister to others in similar situations.  Does it still sting?  Yes.  But the pain’s worth it when I share in the truly holy moments of understanding what another person in youth ministry is going through.  By surviving my greatest fear, I have learned to depend more on God, embrace change and be brave about following my heart.  God is good, all the time.

 

 

Theological, Philosophical, Personal, Vocational, Cultural and Practical Fit – Are there other areas of “good fit” you’d add to this list?  Do you have your own story to share about being fired over this?

By the way, if you know someone in youth ministry who might benefit from this article, please pass it on…we are, after all, our own best resources.

Be blessed,

Erin

 

Erin Jackson is National Director – Community & Care for the Center of Youth Ministry Excellence and the YouthWorker Movement. She is a veteran & certified youthworker as well, and loving her current role as a volunteer Senior High Bible Study teacher.  She lives in Arlington, Texas with her husband Dennis, three kids and a dog. She can be found blogging at http://umyouthworker.com/
Follow @ErinJackso

 

 

 

 

 

 

Article Resources:

More about Len Evans at his blog: www.lenevans.net
More about “The Five Star Fit”  http://lenevans.net/2010/09/the-five-star-fit/
More about Simply Soul Care: http://conference.youthministry.com/ForYourHeart/SoulCare/tabid/158/Default.aspx

 

7 Quick and Easy Icebreakers for your Back Pocket

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We’ve all been there.  You look around the youth room and realize not everybody knows everybody, or you’re trying to start a discussion and the awkwardness is in the air.  Here are 7 quick and easy icebreakers to get your crowd at ease.  You might just want to print these out and put them in your back pocket, just in case.

 

Body Parts – Every student gets a partner.  One of the pair goes to the middle to form an inner circle, the other of the pair makes a larger circle around the inner circle.  Outer circle begins to walk clockwise, inner circle walks counter-clockwise.  Then the leader calls out two body parts like nose to elbow.  The inner circle partner finds the outer circle partner & they have to match up the body parts.  Last duo to match up their parts is eliminated.  Circle back up and keep going.

 

I Never – everyone sits in a circle of chairs except one person in the middle.  Person in the middle states their name and something they have never done.  Anyone who has done whatever was said, gets up in switches chairs.  Example “I’m Erin and I’ve never been to a Disney theme park.”  Everyone who has been to a Disney park gets up and switches spots, person in the middle tries to get a seat.  Last person in the middle is “it” for the next round.

 

Name Backwards Introduction – Do a simple introduction and then ask the youth to say their name backwards, which always makes for a good nickname through a retreat.  Funny part is that there is usually someone who’s name is the same backwards. ie. Anna

 

Three Questions – Each person in the group answers three questions.  The questions are 1. What is your name? 2. What grade are you in & where do you go to school? And question #3 is wide open for creativity – if you could be any zoo animal (or car or color or food, etc.), what would you be and why? 

 

Two Truths and a Lie – each participant writes down three statements in any order about themselves on a card, two are true and one is a lie.  The trick is to make the lie believable.  Gather all the cards, someone shuffles them.   Read the cards aloud one at a time – group tries to guess who wrote the card & then which statement was false.  Optional: you can keep score on who has the most correct guesses.

 

What if….? – Everyone gets two pieces of paper.  On the first piece everyone writes a random question starting wi th “What if…”  For example: “What if dogs could talk?” or “What if you could turn anything into chocolate?”  On the second piece of paper, st udents write an answer to the questions, such as “We would have to hear about squirrels a lot more.” Or “Brussel sprouts would taste better than ever.”  After ever yone is done writing, put questions in one pile and answers in another.  Shuffle th e papers and then randomly pick one question and one answer.  Read aloud and laugh. 

 

Would You Rather – Gather your group together and the leader calls out a “Would your rather…” statement.  Participants can answer by moving from one side of the room or the other, sitting or standing,  writing their answers, sharing their answers – whatever works best for your group.  Examples of “Would your rather questions” are:  Would your rather…go to the beach or the mountains?  Be able to stop time or to fly?  Be the most popular person or the smartest person?  Go without your phone for a month or not see your best friend for a month?

 

Erin Jackson is a veteran & certified youthworker as well as part of the Youthworker Movement team. If you are in youth ministry, you should really learn more about the Youthworker Movement at http://www.ywmovement.org.  Erin lives in Arlington, Texas, with her husband Dennis and three kids. She can be found blogging at http://umyouthworker.com/ 

(Special thanks to youthworkers Sue Douglas Daniels, Erin Sloan Jackson, Kyle Hunter Madison, Gavin Richardson and Daniel J. Segale for their contributions to this article on www.facebook.com/youthworkermovement…if you have other icebreaker gems to share, please let us know.)

 

7 Choices You Can Make To Keep From Losing Yourself in Youth Ministry

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I had a reality check six months ago while sitting in a volunteer training seminar.  Our instructor suggested that youth ministry volunteers focus on their hobbies and figure out creative ways to get the youth to participate too (a youth flyfishing expedition? Why not?)  He had us start with a list of our hobbies… and I realized that I didn’t have any hobbies outside of my job in youth ministry.  This cannot be healthy. 

In a profession like youth ministry, it’s easy to get caught up in the role of youth pastor/youth director and lose touch with who you are as a person.  Youth workers almost by definition are givers, people who sacrifice their goals to help others. It is almost universal that youth workers will ignore their own needs every chance they get. But you have to spend some time taking care of yourself or you will find yourself where you have nothing left to give, and probably at the worst possible time.  Here are 7 choices you can make to keep from losing your sense of self in your job:

The first 4 choices are internal things you can control – basically ways to take care of yourself.  The last three involve external factors that you can work on but you might have limited control.

 

Four Internal Choices to Make to Keep from Losing Yourself in Youth Ministry

  1. Choose to care for your own soul.  You pour your heart into helping others.  But who is your pastor?  Consider finding a pastor who is not your boss.  Who holds you accountable for your own spiritual growth?  The best way you can minister to other people is to make sure you are spiritually fed yourself.  Choose to make time for personal Bible study, retreat, worship – whatever you need for your own spiritual growth – and make sure to do these things before you get caught up in work.  Do not get in the habit of putting youth ministry before your own relationship with God.
  2.  Choose to care for your mind.  What do you think about? The questions you ask will become habitual.  What kind of thoughts are you letting into your head?  Are you reading positive things and surrounding yourself with a positive helpful message?  Just the simple act of reading positive material can keep your mind from spiraling down into negative thoughts.  (check out some inspirational books, read Scripture)  You need to keep yourself in a positive and healthy frame of mind.
  3. Choose to care for your body.  We all know youth work can mean lock-ins and a seemingly limitless number of occasions to eat pizza.  That might have seemed like the ideal job in college, but we’re not getting any younger.  Be honest, are you eating well?  Getting enough rest?  Exercising?  You know what you need to do – do it!  We all need to take care of ourselves physically – get adequate rest, exercise regularly, wear sunscreen.  If you are taking care of your body, you will find that you have more energy and you will last longer. One of the healthiest things you can do is to say “no” when people are asking you to add another commitment to your schedule.  Consider this: When asked the secret to making amazing products, Steve Jobs said “It comes from saying no to 1,000 things to make sure we don’t get on the wrong track or try to do too much”. Your ministry works the same way, do too much “not amazing stuff” and you can’t focus on the truly important stuff.
  4.  Choose to develop yourself outside of your profession.  Get a hobby.  Learn new things.  Keep your mind sharp.  [Have a bucket list? No? Make one. Have one, cross one off this month. Who do you have fun with? In the military they say at social events, “never open the hangar doors”, which means when you are at a social event with people in your unit, focus on the fun, and don’t talk about work. Having trouble turning off the worker mode and relaxing? Maybe you need friends that are not involved in youth ministry in any way shape or form.

 

Three External Choices to Make to Keep from Losing Yourself in Youth Ministry – these are about your relationships

  1. Choose to make your home relationships a priority.   It’s too easy to take your family for granted.  If you are married, you need to make sure your marriage is a priority over youth ministry.  This might mean turning the text messages off when you get home, scheduling date nights and not letting youth events conflict with them, eat regular meals together.  If you have children, you need to be demonstrating the priority your own kids have over the youth events.  Bonus: when you choose to make it clear that family is your priority, you are being a great role model for youth.  Set boundaries.
  2. Choose to build positive work relationships.  Church politics is [not any different than office politics, when people who have different opinions and values work together, sometimes their personalities don’t fit. It’s] unavoidable.  But you can be part of the solution instead of feeding the problem. Make sure you are keeping things positive with your coworkers.  Try to understand the pressures the senior pastor might be under.  Take the janitor out to lunch.  Lift people up.  Work relationships are one of those things that make the job joyful when they’re great, miserable when they’re bad. 
     Work relationships also include your relationships with volunteers – be positive, affirming.  And if there is a problem with fit or calling be loving but direct, not everyone is going to be a successful long term volunteer.
    Along those same lines, choose to have healthy youth relationships –  set your boundaries and make sure your relationships are appropriate. If you are not doing safe sanctuary where you are consider adopting it as a standard, it helps keep everyone safe, and it doesn’t leave room for any inappropriate rumors to take root. Remember that your role is not to be the “cool buddy” of teenagers, you are an adult. Being a youth worker is not the same thing as being a youth.  You can coach your students, you can listen, you can cheer them on, but you are not there to live life for them or through them.   Choose not to be alone with youth or to be in situations that can be misunderstood.
  3. Choose your job wisely.  Churches and youth ministries have different personalities; just like youth workers have different personalities. If you are working in a church that has unrealistic expectations for you or just isn’t a fit for your personality and gifts, you might be miserable and on the way to losing yourself before you even begin.
    Choosing the job that is right for you starts with an honest self-assessment.. What are your strengths? Gifts? Passions?  Are you an extrovert that gets your energy from having a large number of people around? Then don’t go to work for a small church with a high average age and few youth. If you are passionate about student leadership, will you be content working for a church that expects you to produce programs?  If you are passionate about discipleship, will you be content working for a church that expects big outreach events and large crowds?  How much time does your job really require?  Will this work with your other priorities for spiritual growth and healthy relationships?
     If you find yourself in a church that doesn’t fit your personality and gifts, it may be time to make the difficult choice to make a switch.  The more you can align who you are as a person and how you are comfortable in ministry, the healthier you’ll be.

 

 

Erin Jackson is a veteran & certified youthworker as well as part of the Youthworker Movement team. If you are in youth ministry, you should learn more about Youthworker Movement at http://www.ywmovement.org.  She lives in Arlington, Texas with her husband Dennis and three kids. She can be found blogging at http://umyouthworker.com/ If you like this post, please let me know.

 

 

 

 

 

Comfortable with Wet Logs? (a blog post about calling & courage)

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Ever try to light a wet piece of firewood? 

In the Old Testament, there’s a story about the prophet Elijah and his challenge against 450 of the prophets of Baal, a pagan idol.  Elijah worshipped the one true God, the prophets of Baal had a pagan god, and the current leader of the land, Ahab, was trying to worship all the gods.  In this challenge, Elijah and the other prophets each put sacrifices on some wood and they are supposed to call upon their gods to make the wood catch fire for a burnt offering.  Whichever side was successful would prove that they had the real god to follow.  The prophets of Baal go first, but are unsuccessful after calling on Baal all day long. (Elijah even taunts them a bit – it’s worth reading for yourself.)

When it’s Elijah’s turn, he doesn’t go about it the same way.  Instead, God has Elijah put water over the sacrifice and the wood.  Not just a little bit of water, but big jars full of water four different times – enough to soak the sacrifice and wood, and fill a trench around the altar as well.  

Elijah then begins to pray to God – and, wouldn’t you know it,  God lights the fire, burns the sacrifice & the wood and evaporates all the water and dust around until nothing is left.

When I shared this story from 1 Kings with my ten year old son today, he said, “Well, that’s because nothing’s impossible for God, right?”

And, yes, that’s exactly right.

Nothing is impossible for God.

In reading this story paraphrased from 1 Kings 18,  I realize that God has the ability to lead us each to something absolutely incredible.  If nothing is impossible for God, why do we settle for less than incredible?  In fact, God loves to do the impossible!  Yet, so many of us (myself included) are comfortable just sitting around with wet firewood, not even daring to ask God for what seems like the impossible.

If I’m honest about my own faith journey, I’ve got my own wet wood that I’m hanging on to.  As I find myself in between ministry callings, I know I’m holding back on praying for big things.  I’m stalling.  To dare believe that there is an absolutely amazing calling for me out there – something God alone has prepared for me – is a bit overwhelming.  I have no doubt that God has brought me to this point in my journey – He has been faithful to call and prepare me for exactly what I need to be doing all along.  In my heart, I believe that there is something incredible right around the corner…as a couple, my husband and I both have seen God’s hand in all that’s happened in the last month & we just know God’s got us in His hands.

Yet I’m a little afraid to ask God to lead me to the next thing.  It’s safe to be where I am now, staying with what’s comfortable, easy, familiar.

God can do what seems impossible.  Elijah knew that, so he prayed for God to do what seemed impossible anyway and God was faithful.  I wonder if I’m alone in holding back from asking God to do what seems impossible?  How many of us are holding back from what can be incredible to settle for what seems safe?  Are you holding on to wet wood of your own?

I don’t think it will be long until I dare ask God for the next steps in my journey – but I do admit that I’m holding back.  What if God has prepared me for something that seems too impossible, too incredible?  Join me in praying for the courage and faith of Elijah!  
Yours in Christ,
Erin

 

Frayer for Youth Ministry

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My oldest son just completed the 4th grade.  In his science class, they were required to complete “frayers” in their science journal.  It had been a while since I was in 4th grade, so I admit I didn’t know exactly what a frayer was when it was first assigned.  Basically, you divide your paper into four quadrants and label them – Definition, Properties, Examples, Non-examples.  So, in the case of “rocks,” for example, you have the definition in one quadrant, you can list its properties like “non-living” and “natural” in the second quadrant.  Examples could be sandstone or marble, non-examples could be minerals like quartz or diamond.  You get the idea.

As I’ve entered this phase of discernment – recently laid off from a youth ministry position, now trying to discern where God is leading me next – the idea of a frayer for my own personal role in youth ministry makes sense. 

So, if I labeled my own frayer “My Personal Ministry Passions,” here’s what you might see in the quadrants:

Definition – the areas of ministry where my personal passion and heart’s desire/sense of God’s call on my life most closely align with the work at hand

Properties –
  • these areas of ministry bring me joy
  • I’m excited about them
  • I get pumped when I see it happening
  • brings sense of fulfillment
  • I sense God getting glory through faithfully doing work I was called to do
  • Best uses my strengths/gifts/skills

Examples (things that bring me the most joy) 
  • loving on students and getting them to understand God’s grace and plan for them
  • teaching students to be leaders in ministry
  • mentoring students to find their own spiritual gifts and to discern God’s call on their lives
  • teaching students to be compassionate
  • inspiring others to do something about injustice
  • having a heart for youthworkers who are in desperate need for self-care, mentors and pastoral care to keep from burning out in an often misunderstood profession
  • helping others through mission work (Mission trip, 30 Hour Famine)
  • teaching junior high Bible study
  • inspiring youth to read their own Bible
  • creating spiritual retreats and other moments to bring students closer to Christ
  • trying new adventures
Non-examples (things that do NOT bring me the most joy)
  • Sitting in staff meetings
  • Church politics
  • Paperwork
  • Missing out on personal Sabbath, Bible study, worship, pastoral care
  • Sitting at my computer/desk
  • Counting heads instead of monitoring spiritual growth
  • Leading a group in song (those who’ve heard me sing will attest)
  • Too much time away from family
  • Most technical support things like running the sound board

 

This frayer concept might be helpful in bringing clarity to other decision making processes – I could see this helping youth to figure out what God might be calling them to do with their lives.  After all, adolescence is a time of figuring out who we are and how we fit in God’s Kingdom – what about a frayer to define who you are/who you desire to be?  

 

Each of us have been given unique gifts from God to be used in this lifetime – why settle for something that’s just okay when something truly awesome could be an option?

 

Please leave a comment if you have any thoughts to share/other ideas where this could be used.

 

Love in Christ,

Erin

Two weeks’ notice

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In a quick, unscheduled meeting after weekly staff meeting today, I was given my two weeks’ notice.  It’s called two weeks of notice, but in actuality, I have about 5 days to process that I’ve been fired, to compose myself, and then to say goodbye to young people and colleagues I have grown to love as my own family.  (The church is reducing staff and the new clergyperson who is replacing both me and two associate pastors has to start after Annual Conference…so it’s time for me to clear out.)  What’s worse to bear,  is that my husband and three kids are expected to leave the church with me, so I’ve also got to tell my 4, 7 and almost 10 year old that this isn’t our church family after all.  In five days.  

 

In my heart, I have known there was a problem.  I have tolerated feeling isolated and frustrated for months…tolerated it because I love the youth in our ministry and I have seen God at work in such amazing ways during my tenure here:  A first international mission trip igniting a passion for missions.  Thousands of dollars raised by youth to help the world’s hungry.  Former youth called into youth ministry as young adults…current youth hearing God’s call into ministry.  Student leaders blossoming into leadership and taking ownership of their areas of ministry.  Youth that were on the fringe becoming excited participants and sharing their life with me. The creation of the most enthusiastic losing basketball team ever witnessed.  (Only God gets the glory for these things happening, but it’s been exciting to see it all unfold on my watch.)

 

So, how did this job loss come to happen?  I have done all that I was asked to do, I have poured my heart into my ministry, I know students are closer to Christ for my having been here…but it basically boils down to program performance and attendance.  In short, I may have mistaken the lofty words as my primary directive (equip students to be Christ’s disciples) for the business reality (the number of students you should be equipping is at least 25% more than your current attendance rate…or at least as high as some unspecified number that we believe we used to have in the youth group 10 years ago…)

 

Ugh.  This has been a very tough day.  I know my emotions are raw so I don’t want to write too much.  Just the same, I still believe God has a hand in all of this.  He clearly, faithfully called me to my current church, He’s clearly calling me to something else….something I haven’t quite grasped yet.  Maybe in His creative wisdom, God has found a way to prune the things I’ve held on to that are not of His Kingdom – things like my pride of working for a big church, my ego associated with feeling immune to being fired (this happens all the time in youth ministry – just look at the job postings – but it is a first for me), my reluctance to quit because of actually having a decent salary in youth ministry.  

 

Perhaps divinely inspired, I’ve focused a lot of my studies this year on the importance of youthworker self-care.  At youth ministry conventions I kept hearing this recurring theme of a deep need for healing in the souls of youthworkers.  We need to take care of our own spiritual health in order to take care of feeding the souls of others.  We need rest.  We need mentors.  We need pastors that are not our bosses so someone can give us pastoral care when we, say, lose our job or some other crisis.  Perhaps God has just provided me with the perfect opportunity to rest, to regroup and refocus my calling into ministry.

 

I do not know the plans God has for me, but fortunately He does.  I know from experience that His plans are good.  

 

I hope you’ll join me on the journey to see what He has in store.  I wonder if anyone reading this has a story of their own to share?

 

Yours in Christ,

Erin

 

 

 

 

From Prison to Youth Ministry

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Gabe_dominguez

From Prison to Youth Ministry – An interview with Gabe Dominguez

 

Few people have life stories like this one.  My conversation with Gabe reminded me that God has plans for even those kids that seem completely lost.  How can we in “traditional” youth ministry better reach the hard-to-reach youth? – Erin

 

Gabe Dominguez is not your ordinary youth pastor.  Sure, he owns the same youth ministry books you’d expect to see on the shelves in any youth minister’s office.  He joins the thousands of youthworkers that are big fans of Doug Fields’ Purpose Driven Youth Ministry.  (In fact, if you ask Gabe, Doug is “his homeboy,” and the feeling seems to be mutual on Doug’s blog http://www.simplyyouthministry.com/dougs-thoughts-75.html )

 

Gabe’s background and Gabe’s youth ministry field set him apart. 

 

Youth ministry at Mission Waco goes way beyond the traditional “Sunday Night Youth Group” model.  There are afterschool programs, music therapy ministries, art therapy ministries, small groups, job training for teen dropouts and teen parents, mentoring programs and an extensive food program in partnership with local restaurants.  Gabe understands from first hand experience the struggles his youth are facing – and he is passionate about keeping youth on a path to God.

 

The background. Gabe can tell you that he had a rough background…and that almost scratches the surface.  At the age of 11, his uncle asked him to begin selling drugs…turns out he was really good at it.  He spent his teenage years getting into trouble with gangs, selling drugs and firearms in his hometown of Waco, Texas.  He witnessed more than his fair share of murders and gang violence as a teenager.  At 18, he was already a father.  At the age of 22, he arrested for machine gun possession.  Before being sentenced to prison, a toughened, suicidal, gun-carrying Gabe reluctantly attended church with a cousin.  Through the testimony of a guest preacher who had turned his life around (“He actually made it!”), God began the change in Gabe’s heart.

 

In the years since prison, Gabe’s heart and life have completely turned over to God.  After his release, his daughter reminded him of a prison letter promising to take her to church.  Around this same time, his brother-in-law introduced him to Christian Rock/Hip Hop.  Much to his surprise, Gabe liked it.  The positive messages in the music really helped him to move forward and continue to be a driving force in the Music Therapy part of his ministry today.  He is passionate about reaching young people who are living rough lives on the edge and getting them to turn their lives over to God. 

 

The ministry field.  Gabe is the director of youth ministry for Mission Waco. (www.missionwaco.org).  You may already be familiar with Mission Waco, it is well-known for the Church Under the Bridge worship service held literally under Interstate 35 near Baylor University in Waco, serving the poor and marginalized of Central Texas.  (www.churchunderthebridge.org)  Likewise, the youth ministry of Mission Waco, is reaching young people who might otherwise be turning to drugs, gangs or violence.  Young people who are not only hungry for God’s love but also physically hungry or homeless.

 

Gabe is most passionate about the MDub Music Program in his ministry.  Through MDub, young men and women get the opportunity to turn their real-life stories into professionally recorded hip-hop/rap music.  The lyrics about real struggles and finding hope bring healing to both the songwriter and listener.

 

Questions and Answers with Gabe Dominguez

 

Q. What do you see as the biggest challenges facing his youth today?

A. Developing coping skills.  Without enough mentors helping young people to realize their options, the youth he serves look around and see only a life of drugs, crime and gangs as an escape.  These young people may be coping with witnessing a murder or having a mom in prostitution, they may be coping with not having a home or not being able to sleep. 

 

We need transitional homes for youth – and there are not enough people to help when a young person is trying to turn their life around.  Teenage brains are not fully developed and they need help.  There is a desperate need for adult mentors who will love youth exactly where and how they are now, with all of the bad habits and problems, people who will be there to help youth have real life change.

 

Q. How can youth workers best help the poor?

A. Churches are not the hospitals for the hurting that they used to be.  Realize it doesn’t matter if you have 50 or 100 youth coming to your youth programs.  What matters is that you know what is really going on at the homes of your youth.  Are basic needs being met?  Is their home safe, loving, with food?  Are parents involved?  You need to be intentional about really knowing what’s going on and doing the best to meet real needs.

 

Q.  If you could teach one message to the youth of the church, what would it be?

A.  To the youth: Jesus loves them right where they’re at, with their messed up thoughts and everything.  It’s okay to wrestle with God (Jacob did).  It’s okay to have doubts.  God is the hope of the world and the healing of their hearts.

 

Q. If you could teach one message to the youth workers of the church, what would it be?

A.  Be balanced and healthy.  Don’t be overcommitted.    If we are not doing okay personally, we will not be a good role model for the youth.  If you are overcommitted in your ministry, you’re not gonna make it long term. 

 

Your priorities need to be in this order: God, Family and then your Job/Ministry. 

 

If you are a youth worker called into youth ministry, remember that God provided your passion and call to ministry, everything is going to work out.  The passion for young people is there, God will take care of the ministry.

 

Q.  How can we help Gabe Dominguez’s ministry at Mission Waco?

 

Pray for the MDub Music Therapy ministry.